1. Your significant other sees you once again camped out in front of the TV, calls you a "complete and total loser," and you take it as a compliment, thinking you've just been called a complete and total luge-r. You love luge, big time.
2. You not only know the difference between luge and skeleton, you actually know the strategies inherent to each event.
3. You sacrifice your Sunday night ritual of Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy to catch Cindy Klassen baggin' bronze (a speed-skate you'd already seen six times).
4. Speed-skating analyst Catriona Le May Doan's frequent references to "lactic acid build-up" send you scurrying to the Internet for enlightenment. Later, you start having lactic acid flashbacks… "Whoa, man!"
5. Canadian women's hockey coach Melody Davidson begins to look a little like rocker Tom Cochrane. You shout at your TV, "Hey, Melody, life is a highway!"
6. You talk about hair-raising moguls and you're not referring to Donald Trump.
7. You watch a Canuck mogul champ in action, a young woman with a winsome toothy smile, and you suddenly find yourself wanting to go straight to Heil in a handbasket.
8. You know more about Michelle Kwan's wonky groin than you ever cared to know. Ah, here today, Kwan tomorrow.
9. You giggle like a gradeschooler each and every time an announcer mentions the name of figure skater Irina Slutskaia. "Hey, he just said 'Slut'"
10. You adopt the Bode Miller training regimen that, of course, includes drinking significant quantities of beer before big events. Like Bode, your efficiency level goes downhill, fast. Ah, Bode, it's Miller time! Ah, Miller, it's Bode time! Ah, Biller, it's Mode…
11. You have an epiphany, suddenly realizing that the 'half pipe" has something or other to do with snowboarding - and it's not, as you first suspected, just some paraphernalia you might find in a snowboarder's back pocket.
12. You know that "Passion Lives Here" is the theme of the Torino Games, and not just some goofy slogan embossed on Paris Hilton's underwear.
Come on, people! We're worried about you! Turn off the televisions, you luger-s. And, for the good of the country, get back to work!
Unfortunately, I can't take credit for this ~ it was done by a writer on www.sportsnet.ca.
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1 comment:
I must be unpatriotic or something, but Olympic coverage has never been my cup of tea. I'd much rather stick to my regular scheduled programming. :)
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